tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83457683399849846702024-03-14T04:50:23.509-04:00Catholic musician of the NLMThoughts and Discussion of a young Catholic Church Musician dedicated to the Reform of the Reform, the spread of the Extraordinary Form, and living a life of holiness.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-15951831489593648002010-03-05T00:50:00.002-05:002010-03-05T01:04:36.433-05:00LentOnce again, it has been too long since I have posted, and I also should be headed to bed, but I will take a couple minutes to at least give an update. This lent I have once again committed to something in the three areas: Prayer, penance and almsgiving. I have decided to make an extra hour for prayer in my life, every day, and preferrably in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It is helping me cope sooo much better with all the other things going on in my life, and giving me greater clarity in decision making. (duh, right?) I definitely plan to keep it up after Easter. I then decided to give up sweets as my penance, even on Sundays. Trust me, it's hard for me. Lastly, I am once again collecting my money for the Rice Bowl program, although that isn't much right now.<br />I got laid off from my full time job mid-January, so things have gotten really tight. I have been getting my own home business started, but it's not happening fast enough, so I have prayed persistently for some sort of part time work to stay afloat that would ALSO work around previous music commitments made. Praise God, this week, I found a job at Elizabeth Anna's, a garden center. I will be out doing small landscape jobs, and today was my first day. It was so wonderful to be outside all day and doing manual labor. I really do miss it. It will be wonderful even just for a few months, doing this kind of work. It will be part-time, so I can continue to work on my own business.<br />The previous music commitments made have to do with Holy Week, and the weekend after that. By the grace of God, I will be able to make it to Mater Ecclesiae again to sing! I am so happy about it, I really need it as a retreat as well as visiting with old friends. It may be the last time I can do it until I move back east someday (I hope). The second music committment is a wedding back home for a cousin. I have been very blessed to have found a part time job to sustain me that was willing to work around those dates with me.<br />I have a music concert this weekend with the denton back society, which has been helping to keep my voice in shape. I also will have a Texas wedding to sing for in a couple weeks. The young couple wanted traditional music and actually happened to find me through this blog! That was really neat to learn.<br />That's things in a nut shell right now. There are other things going on in my life, personally and spiritually, but this would not be the place to share them with people I know. So I bid everyone good night and God Bless your families.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-62304982968963951382009-12-25T03:53:00.005-05:002009-12-25T04:17:31.383-05:00A Christmas Twist!This Christmas Eve was truly a night of unexpected surprises! Texas has had, for the first time in about 80 years, from what I have been told: A White Christmas! The snow actually stuck on the ground, and it got very windy. There was enough for small snowdrifts! Unbelievable in Texas. It was truly a wonderful blessing for Christmas, since I have from Vermont and at LEAST like to have a white Christmas. Well, even in Texas, I was granted that beautiful sight! Just so you all can see it and believe it: <div><div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAuZgMaaGFZ-a7Gbp8HxoZFRUdC3-nlt5plVHzAdEaj9YPU9cAgBZYfXYICb2Y-ELdL0eGRCMtHtfMJPpx3xZg7gVkIWSViRPXM3uQckx-ama-f0AEDcUHUmxmzUIpBNRbL3v7_2pmgcE/s400/1224091712.jpg" style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419095514694821426" /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl0NC-uznsoRJ8_ufw9P4YFuC0AdjmDrw3frRo-awXQ1rCjTuC_Lbi4JxwQgDjyDia-fkVDV7DNCyNTTymQwrVh-mpMPzaF91v6KPWFo0RsIthnyL9M9_5CnQWrkir7J0x8eSG5oxX0g4/s400/1224091713.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5419096524073117474" /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>However, with this wonderful blessing of a white Christmas came some unexpected change of plans musically and liturgically. Alas, I could not make it to Dallas for midnight mass with the latin mass community. I was supposed to sing a Victoria's "O Magnum Mysterium" mass and everything, but with the way the highways are constructed here and the fact that they have NOTHING to put on the roads, I didn't make it far. It would have been EXTREMELY treacherous. I never would have thought that a couple inches of snow would be so treacherous, but it was also the ice underneath. You see, in Texas, I think the road engineers pride themselves in seeing how many overpasses they can stack on top of one another and loop through one another. So their highways are way up in the air and so they froze over VERY BADLY with ice. There were sooo many cars spinning off the road, even when going 30 mph! I would have been afraid not so much that I would spin off the road myself, but that someone else would lose control and hit my car! It would have taken forever to get to Dallas going that speed anyway. </div><div>However, God works in interesting ways, because instead of singing a polyphonic mass for the Dallas latin mass, I got to stay at the College of St Thomas More's chapel and help with singing there! I even got to walk to and from my apartment to the chapel (about a 20 min walk) with my good friend Andrew on the eve of Christmas in the snow. As he put it, that was a very nice and RARE blessing in Texas! And my friend Richard who is the director at the chapel, had planned very nice music, including a simpler polyphonic mass. I had happened to even be at one of their rehearsals for this music earlier in the week, since my roommate was the one who was supposed to sing and was late, so i filled in for her. But since her family lives a half hour away and she went home in the afternoon, she couldn't even make it back for mass! So instead, I sang, which made the polyphonic mass still possible, and with a devout priest who celebrates the novus ordo mass ad orientem. </div><div>It is still not as beautiful and captivating as the latin mass, but it was the best 2nd choice around here! And I still got to sing beautiful and worthy music. Truly, God works in strange ways :)</div><div>Well, a Merry Christmas to all who will read this. I have a flight home to Vermont tomorrow, which, I pray will not be delayed, since it is already supposed to get there late, at 11pm. So far, travel is looking okay. I might beat the storm before it reaches the far east coast. At least that is what it is showing on the weather channel. However, they could be wrong... since there was NOTHING in the forecast only TWO days ago about the Texas blizzard we just got today!</div><div><br /></div><div>Gaudete, gaudete! Christus est natus ex Maria Virgine, gaudete!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div></div>Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-39308423169264240222009-12-20T21:34:00.003-05:002009-12-20T21:59:59.901-05:00On the Eve of the New Year...My life has seen many changes. I have had a roller coaster of a ride when it comes to romantic relationships, and I will now end the year single. I feel lost in terms of, well, everything. I wonder if I have even followed God's will in the past two years. I have no way of knowing if I have done "the right thing". It is hard to believe at times, like today, that I have purpose. Why am I in Texas? What was the purpose in that? I thought God had brought me together with a certain person and had firmly believed it was the person I was to marry, only to see that dashed to pieces before me. I made a wonderful new friend in the process, and was unsure if it was to be more, causing more confusion, and have finally decided I must not proceed further than friendship with him at present because I still need to heal and draw closer to Christ. To use a visual, it is as if I sit admist the scattered pieces of what WAS my life in the past year, and have no idea how to put them back together again into a whole. There is uncertainty with my employment for the coming year, but that is not what concerns me so much. <div>One thing that has always bothered me deeply from time to time is an overwhelming sense of not "fitting" anywhere. I can hang out with friends but then after feel like I was on the "outside" somehow, not really belonging. It leaves me feeling so sad and lonely. It was like that all through college as well. It is has also saddened me and left me feeling without purpose that I went to school for music and graduated, and since then, I have had decreasing opportunities to use the gift of my voice for the Church. I hardly sing anymore, and so it is also painful to listen to my senior recital CD from college and feel like I cannot sing as well as that anymore. That I am losing that gift little by little because I have no solid place to use it, and I do not have money for continual voice lessons. Even if I did, I would wonder what the purpose in taking them would be, if I have no place to really use my voice. </div><div>So this advent, I have turned more to Jesus, and do the thing that is hardest for me: I wait on him. I don't know what he wants from me. I don't know if there is something more I am supposed to be doing for him. I end up wishing things had turned out differently this year than they are right now. The way things have gone has left me feeling like I am floundering and just plain tired of not knowing what direction I am going in. I have forsaken my own desires to find the man I am supposed to spend my life with to hopefully witness the rebirth of a friendship between the two who mean alot to me and used to be good friends. </div><div>It creates a burden on my heart that is hard to explain, but seeing their friendship will mean more than any relationship. I think what makes the burden hard... is because I spent 3-4 years learning how to be content by myself, and with Christ. And then I understand my vocation to marriage through someone brought into my life, only to have it taken away, and yet still have to live in the place where I reminded of it every day. And yet I have to return to how it was before, to my time with just Christ and myself. </div><div>As I grow older, I do find myself understanding this world more and more as a vale of tears, and desire the coming of Christ, to wipe away all sadness, and live with him forever in joy and peace, for he is the only one who can fill my heart, comfort it, and wipe away my tears. It is a sadness, and yet also a joy, to envision resting in his arms and with our mother Mary, knowing that they understand the aches of my heart and the troubles of my soul. </div>Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-1322574903634922052009-10-18T23:23:00.002-04:002009-10-18T23:39:32.504-04:00Update from TexasYes. I know it has been forever since I posted anything. So there is probably only one person still reading this blog, and it is for him that I am posting :)<div>Here in Fort Worth, I find that I miss having solemn liturgies. I have been rather spoiled the past 3 years having been at a latin mass parish in NJ singing polyphony for feast days and then a year in Chicago at St John Cantius. Now I am in Fort Worth where the only place I can sing choral music and keep my voice up is singing this sacred music in a concert setting with the Denton Bach Society. I had thought I would have better opportunities here, but that has not been the case. It is especially disheartening to not be able to involve myself with music for the latin mass in Fort Worth. I still go to the latin mass sunday evenings, but I won't get into the details about the music for it and the lack of opportunity to get involved. It just frustrates me. Also, the latin mass here is rather low key compared to what I am used to for a Latin high mass.</div><div>The only place I've gotten myself involved with for Catholic church music is a little mission parish called San Mateo. It has been a great place though, very small, and the priest is very supportive of doing chant and sings the whole 10am mass himself, in English! It's really the most "solemn" novus ordo in the diocese besides at the college of St. Thomas More.</div><div>And since I can't make money doing music down here, I've gotten a job with the Princeton Review, which I enjoy. I just still am not full time, so i do not have salary or benefits yet. I am hoping I will by November. We shall see. </div><div>As usual, God is doing all kinds of interesting things regarding my vocational journey. I moved here because of a particular person, who I am no longer with. Things fell out between us, which was rather a shock. I am still healing. At the same time, God had me meet another young man... the whole situation has just been... I don't even know what to say. We all just keep praying and trying to follow God's will. </div><div>I also just keep praying for my siblings, especially my sister. I will be going home at Thanksgiving for a visit (Yay!), which I thought was important so I could see my sister and her Fiance in case she DOES fly to Chile in December with him to get married. I also wanted to see my little niece so she doesn't forget who her aunt is. I can't wait to see her! She is absolutely adorable and turns 2 on Nov. 5th.</div><div>That's about all I have for now. I need to get to bed for work tomorrow. I am thinking also about closing this blog down. Unless I get a response from people not to, I probably will. </div><div><br /></div>Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-71017235165760429322009-06-17T17:38:00.002-04:002009-06-17T17:43:13.631-04:00Moving to TexasI am finally headed off for Texas tomorrow. The whole process of moving is rather stressful, to tell you the truth. The trip had been delayed a day. I was supposed to leave yesterday. But rather than give a lot of details why, just pray for better physical health of my traveling companion, who is the main reason for my moving to Texas. If you happen to read this, also pray for our safe travel. It will be a two day trip, so we will be on the road both tomorrow and Friday.<br />I don't know what to expect really, once I move there. I just need to strive to have hope that things will be good, that God wants me to have happiness and He is good and merciful.<br />You may wish to add a prayer for my own mental health, which has not been the best since my move to Chicago. I plan to be working on taking care of that once I move to Texas. That, and figuring out what in the world I am supposed to be doing with my life right now, regarding work.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-34872841568646059132009-05-28T00:41:00.002-04:002009-05-28T00:58:47.854-04:00The Near Demise of my Own BlogI will say that my own blog has come closer to death than the<a href="http://owloftheremove.blogspot.com/"> Owl's</a> blog. I am considering putting an end to it myself. It is at the very bottom of my priority list. However, since i am on here now, I may as well say that I will officially be leaving the liberal atmosphere of Chicago and moving to the sunny land of Texas on June 17th. It is a move that is much anticipated on my part! I am sure I will look back over time, on this year spent in Chicago and come to realize many things that the good Lord was trying to teach me, however at this point in time, i am not sure how well He succeeded. I just sang tonight for a Pontifical High mass at <a href="http://www.cantius.org/">St John Cantius </a>to kick off a triduum of masses in honor of the year of St Paul. Auxilary Bishop Perry of Chicago was the celebrant. I sang as a quartet with another girl and two of the brothers. We sang two nice motets and chant mass VIII with organ accompaniment. I must say, it felt rather strange to be having such a high mass in the middle of the week with no special feast day! This mass was also recorded, because I believe they plan to put it on their priest training site at some point in the near future, which is<a href="http://www.sanctamissa.org/"> Sancta Missa</a>. So I shall have a musical moment of fame more than once! Not only will my voice likely be on their website in some fashion, but also on EWTN on July 1st! Clips of all the Cantius choirs were recorded in the past couple months, and will be shown as part of a feature program on St. John Cantius on July 1st. It is sure to be a highlight of the program, since one of the EWTN priests who came during lent (?) to be trained in the EF was so impressed with the parish's choral program. So be sure to check out EWTN on July 1st!<br />And also before I leave, I shall be conducting the women's chant schola one last time. we shall be singing the Corpus Christi chants on June 14th for the 12:30pm mass. I shall miss it.<br />But many musical possibilities await me in Texas! I look forward to being able to do more directing, possibly with choral music. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the Sacred Music Colloquium this year. Funny how I moved to the city where it is now held, but will not be going. At least I shall be moving away before the conference, that way I shall not miss it so much.<br />My move to Texas has more to do with my vocation than with music :) So a prayer for Richard and I if you happen to read this. God willing, we will marry in two years. But first things first: I shall move, and then we shall see how things progress. There are many activities I hope to be involved in in Fort Worth TX! Say a prayer for safe travel too, if you will. Richard will be driving down to TX with me on June 17th and 18th.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-14539219253590876172009-03-08T01:56:00.003-05:002009-03-08T03:05:21.366-04:00My Anticipation for Easter! ... among other thingsWell, I recently took a trip to Texas to visit the man who is courting me, and that was a wonderful time. It has helped to put me in a better frame of mind for Lent and just start afresh with certain things in my life. It was a respite that was desperately needed!<br />Also, from the looks of things, that is where I may end up living starting this summer... we shall see. It is a strong possibility, and one that I am peace with and would look forward to :)<br /><br />But the really exciting thing is I just have worked out going back to Philadelphia for Holy Week! And Richard shall fly from Texas to join me there! I have been wanting to go back to where I went to school, and back to Mater Ecclesiae, to visit since I left, and going back for Holy week to sing has been in the back of my mind for months. I can't believe I will actually get to do it! and I get to have Richard there with me. God is truly good. It will be wonderful to still get to sing for all the Holy week liturgies, which i would not get to do if i stayed in Chicago. That would be hard to take, since I have sang for all Holy week liturgies for as long as I can remember. I started singing in church when i was six, and so i probably starting singing with the larger choir for holy week by the time I was in 5th or 6th grade. the whole trip is possible due to the fact that Mater Ecclesiae does Polyphony all that week and so pays its singers for every mass. It is the most wonderful place to be during Holy week that I have ever experienced. The beauty of Holy Week in the Extraordinary form is beyond words.<br />It will also be a wonderful time to visit friends I haven't seen since I graduated, and have Richard meet them and see my Alma Mater, and maybe even go swing dancing so he can meet those people, even though on principle it will be a little odd to go dancing during Holy Week. I may make an exception this year, for the sake of having him meet the people I know.<br />I can't wait for this! well, i can actually, because I have to, but it gives me something to look forward to with much joy. Now, back to focusing on Lent, and preparing myself for Easter...Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-40568614463267419952009-02-01T18:15:00.002-05:002009-02-01T18:44:45.378-05:00LOONG overdue Update!I know i haven't posted in a while. but it isn't exactly on the top of my priority list, and I know hardly anyone reads it. But for the heck of it, I thought I would update it. As far as liturgical music things go, the women's chant schola I started at St. John's is going well. Tomorrow, I will begin my first attempt at really teach chant theory to others. I am using the "Square Notes Workbook in Gregorian Chant" as my guide. I am eager to give this a try, although it will be a little bit of a crash course, since we will essentially work throught the whole book in just one month (and just 4 meetings). Then the next time we will sing chants for mass will be the Feast of the Annunciation.<br />Also, starting this week and going through lent, I have been asked to come to Wednesday night masses and help with singing polyphony, just one voice to a part. That is how I like it best, it really makes you accountable for knowing your own part well. I am very glad I will have an outlet to start singing polyphony again! I will really be glad someday to start conducting it more myself, teaching others.<br /><br />Un-musical news:<br /><br />For anyone reading this, although I have discerned my vocation now, other things are very much in the air, and I am allowing them to distress me by wanting answers now to things that God does not plan to give me answers to yet. So i need to be more at peace with just where I am at the present moment. The biggest thing is whether I will stay in Chicago after one full year here come July. At the moment, the option is very much open to me to move back to Philadelphia, the area where I went to school. And the possibility is very appealing to me. But I need to just give it time and really listen for what God wants me to do. It is hard, because overall, my time in Chicago so far has been emotionally and spiritually difficult for me. It means I have grown ALOT, I see that I have grown in virtue and maturity and in so many other ways... but I do not if I should remain in such situations for more than a year. The desire to be nearer to my family again, and live with Catholic women i can really pray with, and be in a place that feels more like a home, is very strong. And I need a job that is better suited to my character and talents. I know God placed me where I am present to teach me virtue, but I cannot see myself doing it for more than a year.<br />But that is just it, who knows! God's plans may be very different from my own, he may WANT me to stay here, and to keep dealing with what I deal with. I don't know. So I just keep praying for patience and to know his answers to my questions and prayers when the time is right. Keep striving to place it all in Our Mother's hands. There is not much else I can do yet. All these decisions will also be partially tied up in the decisions of the young man I think I am called to marry. So that adds a whole other layer of complexity to the situation.<br /><br />And to end, I ask that the reader say a prayer for me for perseverance, charity, and humility.<br />I will continue to ask the Lord to make me a saint, no matter how much it hurts at times.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-1328168169621905842008-12-07T19:38:00.003-05:002008-12-07T19:49:32.813-05:00A Vocation to MarriageThat's right. I have discerned that my vocation is marriage. I am at peace with the decision and that God has called me to this vocation, but it will take time getting used to it. This knowledge is confirmed by my spiritual director as well. We had a good laugh at the end of my last meeting with him on Friday, because he told me it didn't surprise me that I came to this conclusion, because he knew from day 1 when I met with him that I was called to marriage! And he didn't tell me! Haha, well, I guess it is one of those things you really do need to discern for yourself, with the guidance of another. The turning point came at the end of the first week of November actually. There is a joy and relief in knowing with conviction what my vocation is, and yet a touch of sadness... Because there are things about religious life that I am attracted to, and God had me look into religious life for 3-4 years, only to find that it is not my calling. Yet i know there are probably many reasons for that: 1) to prepare me spiritually, in virtue, for a right relationship with another person that will be centered in Christ, 2) to deepen my own spiritual life so that I will yearn more for the things of heaven, even when in marriage. to know that marriage is to lead me to sanctity and union with God, 3) i thought at times that i really would become a nun eventually, but struggled with realizing how long it would be before i could enter due to school loans, and no community ever seemed to be the right one, but now the waiting i can view differently: God had me waiting because i was trying to go down the wrong path.<br /><br />The other wonderful thing is that God has used a young man to make me realize I am called to marriage. I don't know if I will ever marry this man, but my constant prayer is that if it be pleasing to our Lord, to let him be the one. And now I am waiting for a different reason. I do not think my next long waiting, if this man is the one I am to marry, is because i am on the wrong path, but because God still has much work to do in us to prepare us for such a vocation. So I strive to cultivate and patient and joyful waiting, especially during this season of advent. Waiting not only for the coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ a second time, but having advent help me to cultivate a joyful hope in the things God has planned for the rest of my life.<br /><br />Whoever reads this, please say a prayer for me and this young man, for Our Lady to guard us and strengthen our virtue, so that from the very start our relationship, no matter where it leads, will be one that is holy, pure, and guides us closer to the hearts of Jesus and Mary.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-78802122593616757722008-11-22T01:25:00.002-05:002008-11-22T01:44:57.297-05:00It's been a long time...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwVwZjihU-xC7l2aTOTSaZw1sSFszR2JMNIbhbQSDhV5cxPQ14SRovjWTlAvrhsOISBhX6jrFRz9NgMg-5HO6Fy39ivYYkS9p6W6OPjwEWphYidl-zy6l8u-tVuBDqQjH1KE16H1sL2GE/s1600-h/1015081922.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5271364532097242418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwVwZjihU-xC7l2aTOTSaZw1sSFszR2JMNIbhbQSDhV5cxPQ14SRovjWTlAvrhsOISBhX6jrFRz9NgMg-5HO6Fy39ivYYkS9p6W6OPjwEWphYidl-zy6l8u-tVuBDqQjH1KE16H1sL2GE/s400/1015081922.jpg" border="0" /></a> But it is because I am quite busy now. I have some new and better pictures of my parish though now, as you can see. this picture was taken from the lower choir loft at the closing mass of forty hour's devotion.<br />I am in two of the choirs as well, as helping out the youth choir quite often for the time being, I have started taking some voice lessons again, and the women's choir has officially been formed. Our first time singing all the propers for a mass will be on the feast of the Immaculate Conception :) It is exciting. I really enjoy conducting chant, and well, conducting in general.<br />What i really want to share are some recordings from St. John's, but I am still working on figuring out how to get them on here. I have a recording of the communion chant for All Saint's Day by the women's schola, and i have a BEAUTIFUL recording of the solemn vespers in the extraordinary form that we sang tonight for the Marian feast day. It turned out really well for just using my little mp3 player. It is late, so this is all i will say for now, and i will try to get the recordings on here soon.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-42932351247899048802008-10-09T23:43:00.002-04:002008-10-09T23:53:51.376-04:00Still AliveWow, it has been a month since I have posted. I admit, blogging is not anywhere near the top of my list of to do's. I am glad that my life is now busier. I have been a bit busy with vocation discernment, and i work all day monday through friday now, and I also waitress two nights a week. I have choir practice Monday nights, and adoration and lectio divina thursday nights. And soon I hope to be having even more to do.<br />Musically, I am in the initial stages of forming a women's chant schola at my parish, with the approval of the priest in charge of music there. I wrestled for a while about whether to ask to do it, but he thought it was a good idea, and we are starting it slow by building it in the context of the choral women's choir. However, the experience so far has shown this will not work very well. There is just not the time without adding separate rehearsals. So I am praying that I may get a core group committed to break off and have its own rehearsals starting in November, with the approval of the priest of course. I really enjoy studying the chants and working on the chironomy, and I really do love conducting! There is something so satisfying about it for me.<br />I have schedule my first voice lesson with a teacher in the city as well, but that will only happen about once a month because of the cost. My teacher however, is a choir member of the professional choir at my parish, so she can hopefully prepare me to audition for that same choir eventually. That would help so much!<br />Spiritually, I am being challenged so much right now. There often does not seem like much joy in my life right now, but I am being purified. It is all part of God's plan. And you know, I have told him that I will to be a saint. So i guess you get what you ask for... that may be the case with my vocation too... but I will not know the definitive answer to THAT for a while I think. The advice and practical applications of my spiritual direction though are helping me very much in my discernment. Words really cannot describe the amazing but difficult path God is leading me on, with the guidance of our Holy Mother Mary. My consecration to her has profoundly changed my life, how I understand vocations... everything.<br />Well, i think those are enough thoughts for now. I must rest, and rise for a new day tomorrow. May Our Lady guide all Catholics closer to the foot of the Cross to be purified by the sacrifice of Christ.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-51174697970321287572008-09-10T18:00:00.002-04:002008-09-10T18:07:18.348-04:00Making ends meet, and other thingsWell, I have a job with a catholic organization, but still I think I will have to work a couple nights a week at a restaurant or something. Not what I would have liked to do, after working all day somewhere else, but otherwise I don't see how I could save money for a plane ticket home in December. Or start paying college loans off at a reasonable pace. (sigh) well, i chose to major in music I guess. As far as music goes, I am not really satisfied with what I have done with that either. I have the strong desire to direct something, even if it's just starting a schola at my parish. I would love the opportunity to try, and gain the experience. At least I am singing in good choirs, so my vocal abilities don't completely regress, since I can't afford voice lessons at the moment. So I just hope musically, there is more I can do, in time.<br />An exciting thing is that my sister is in Chile again right now! She could use prayers for her own discernment. I am proud that she has taken a leap of faith, which is hard for her to do. May God be with her and the young man she went down there to see. Her and I both seemed to have had God turn our worlds upside down, starting in the same week! It was pretty crazy... but it helps us relate to each other better right now. We both are wishing we knew what the future held, and yet, to know would diminish half the excitement of the hidden will of God. One step at a time...Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-40128449504409469412008-08-31T00:25:00.003-04:002008-08-31T23:21:28.023-04:00"Rapid fire" discernment?Interesting phrase my new spiritual director used to describe how God has been working in my life lately. But it is appropriate. Since January, I had taken a "break", in a sense from actively discerning religious life, and just to sort through everything from my retreat, and I was tired of searching. I didn't know in what direction I was to take the next step. So I waited, and focused on finishing school. and then after college, I waited, and searched for work, and prayed, trying to figure out what was next in my life, now that I had graduated. Where did God want me? was I to stay in VT? Now what about my vocation? And then, since the end of June, everything has happened at such a rapid speed! So much has happened in my life in a span of three months, that I think I'm still trying to digest it all, and as my spiritual director thinks, maybe the rapid developments are not done yet. Why God has chosen to do so much in my life so quickly NOW, I don't know. Hindsight is always better in the spiritual life. There is a good possibility that God is leading me to know with surety my vocation sooner than a year from now. But even if that happens, I know that I will pray for continual indications and signs that I have chosen the right vocation, and take the time to prepare myself for it. I <em>want</em> to know my vocation, and yet, there is still a little nagging fear at times. Spiritual direction was such a relief today. It is very necessary, because I can't trust myself without the counsel, and I shouldn't. I put full trust in Our Lady, that she will not let me stray from the will of God, if I am truly her slave.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-16026104886979173822008-08-15T13:37:00.002-04:002008-08-15T13:44:18.508-04:00The Feast of the AssumptionToday, I will be blessed to attend a solemn vespers, profession of vows, and solemn high mass at the parish of <a href="http://www.cantius.org/">St. John Cantius</a>. The feast has layered meaning for them, as their brothers make professions of varying degrees, and it is also the 10th anniversary of the founding of the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius. It is also Fr. Phillips' 20th anniversary of being at this parish! I do not get to sing in the solemn high mass for this, but I will still very much enjoy internally participating in the music from the pews. I wanted to share the rundown of the music that will be done tonight. I hope to talk to the director after mass, who said he would be interested in auditioning me for the St. Cecilia choir, which is the one that will be singing tonight. There are even recordings of them for sale on the cantius website.<br />Music:<br />7:30 pm Latin Mass (Extraordinary Form)<br />Missa Vidi Speciosam - Tomás Luis de Victoria (1548 – 1611)<br />Veniens de Libono - Francesco Bianciardi (1572 – 1607)<br />Assumpta est Maria - Peter Phillips (c. 1560 – 1628)<br />Te DeumGregorian Chant - St. Cecilia Choir<br /><br />Benedictus, Op. 59, No. 9 - Max Reger (1873 – 1916)<br />Prelude on the Introit for the Solemnity of the Assumption - Simone Plé-Caussade (1897 – 1985)<br />Final: Allegro assai vivace (Organ Sonata in F Minor, Op. 65, No. 1) - Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy (1809 – 1847) Organ Prelude, Processional & PostludeKimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-69259680620734370252008-08-07T20:08:00.002-04:002008-08-07T20:09:57.519-04:00SPEECHLESSThis is probably one of the most amazing things I have ever come across. I have never seen or heard such a thing in all my life:<br /><br /><a href="http://web.mac.com/gregorypeebles/Site/Welcome.html">http://web.mac.com/gregorypeebles/Site/Welcome.html</a><br /><br />There really is nothing that could accurately describe my reaction.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-49073383637311568402008-08-07T19:13:00.002-04:002008-08-07T19:26:57.060-04:00My future as a church musician?I'm at one of those crossroads in life. maybe there is a better term for such a thing. It is more like one of those times when you aren't sure which direction is up or down or where the light is to guide you, yet you know it is still there. Christ is always there guiding, maybe I am just really starting to learn to take one day at a time, so it seems like I'm in a sort of darkness.<br />I feel like my musical development is at a standstill. I really haven't done much of anything with music since I graduate from college in May, and especially since the music colloquium in June. I don't even realize sometimes how much I miss singing and how much joy it can give me until I start singing with a group again. The focus right now just seems to be on other things. I am so preoccupied with finding a job, since a job as a church music right now is an impossibility and maybe will never become a reality, at least not as a full time job. I don't even think I would want it as a full time job. I don't know really what my role in church music is supposed to be at this moment. I'm too busy thinking about where I am going to work so I can pay bills and start paying off college loans, and now vocation discernment has been brought to the forefront again and will be at least for the next year. I really am ready to know my vocation now, I need a definite direction to work towards. but again, back to music. I'm getting involved in an already established parish music program in Chicago, by far the best in the city, but I don't know if there's anything else I should do. Maybe it is just too soon to tell yet, since I just moved here two weeks ago. It will be wonderful to sing polyphony again, but one of my desires in church music is for once to actually get to sing chant for mass on a fairly regular basis. Why is it everywhere I end up, women don't do any of the chanting? What is the point of the CMAA teaching women to chant if men only do it in some of the best church music programs? I can find it aggravating. I don't want to take chanting away from men at all, but why can't we have something like what we heard at the colloquium in such a well established music program. Surely there are women in the parish who really would love to chant. And why not? Also, as a church musician who may direct music someday, how am I ever supposed to direct a group to sing chant, be it men or women, if I have never gotten much of a chance to sing it with a group myself? I have the desire of possibly being the one to start such a women's schola, but question my ability to do so.<br />I just wonder i guess: am I skilled enough, really, to lead a music program in any way? And yet i know the only way to get that skill is to dive into it. You have to get your feet wet and learn from your mistakes as you go. But I guess it just seems like now is not the time. I thought maybe it was before June, but now the focus has shifted. Vocation discernment is more important, because that concerns what God is calling me to BE.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-78075397338148316642008-08-07T16:51:00.003-04:002008-08-07T17:12:35.050-04:00The Joy of Mater EcclesiaeAlthough I am now at a parish with beautiful and amazing liturgy, I have found that there are still things I have experienced in the Latin Mass that I miss very much and have not experienced elsewhere. That is why I still miss <a href="http://www.materecclesiae.org/">Mater Ecclesiae </a>at times. I miss the bold congregational singing of the chant mass settings, especially the creed. Even when we would sing a polyphonic mass setting, the creed was always for the people to chant. And they would raise the roof! Especially at "et unam, sanctam, catholicam, et apostolicam ecclesiam". that always was a powerful and beautiful moment. I miss Karl's bold organ music after the gospel. I miss the clear <a href="http://thenewliturgicalmovement.blogspot.com/2008/06/tonus-solemnior-it-is-meet-and-right-so.html">chanting of the texts by Fr. Pasley</a>. Never have I heard better priest chanting anywhere. Not because there are not priests out there with better quality of voice (but even those are few), but because Father combines beauty with clarity and appropriate speed. You can truly understand his Latin and he often sounds like he could be as fluent speaking in Latin as he is in English because the sentence flow is so often spot on! Kudos to Fr. Pasley. I also think it is important if at all possible for the congregation to have books of music. Even if they can't read notation (supposedly), you would be surprised how many start to understand chant notation because it is simple enough to start picking up on it. It helps them to really learn the mass settings. Those music books should also have hymns I think. Although hymns are not to be the primary music, there is nothing more joyful to me than hearing a <a href="http://thenewliturgicalmovement.blogspot.com/2008/03/tantum-ergo-sacramentum-at-mater.html">congregation raise the roof </a>with a devotional hymn at the end of Mass. I would feel a deep sense of loss if we did not have such hymns as "The Strife is O'er", "This Joyful Eastertide", "On Jordan's bank", "Let all Mortal Flesh Keep Silence", and so many more. They give a cultural voice to our faith when appropriate. I have never been a member of a more joyful, faith-filled congregation than that of Mater Ecclesiae Catholic Church. There is such an earnestness about the faith there, and a love of participation in the mass, both internally and externally. I miss hearing a congregation really sing, and I mean REALLY SING. It has provided some of the most beautiful and moving moments in my worship of God in the Mass.<br />God Bless Mater Ecclesiae and their parish priest. May he grant them continued spiritual growth and many years more to worship God together. May their love for the faith reach much farther in the lives of others than they may ever know.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-76368862356712354872008-07-29T11:33:00.002-04:002008-07-29T11:37:09.192-04:00In Chicago!My access to internet is somewhat limited and things were crazy this weekend, but I can say I am now living in Chicago! I arrived last Friday and I am now settled in. I have still been applying for jobs and had an interview yesterday that went well, but I am still looking for other possibilities. It can be kind of a downer to not be working because there is not much to do and you don't feel very useful. My roommate will be leaving for Medjugorie tomorrow as well, so I will be alone in our apartment for 10 days, and I just moved here! I have a choir audition today at St. John Cantius and getting involved there soon will help. Say a prayer that I find a job, and also, for my vocation. That is a priority this year. I really sense that I am supposed to know with certainty by the end of the year. In a sense I BEG God to know. but, i will also accept whatever his will is. Holy Mary, guide me in all things...Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-78411201293409528142008-07-17T21:19:00.002-04:002008-07-17T21:26:04.380-04:00The BIG MOVEWell, it is confirmed. I'm actually doing it! I am moving to Chicago a week from today! I will leave July 24th. I have an apartment with another Catholic woman ready for us, and my mom and my sister are actually going to drive down with me to help bring all my stuff! what a weekend that will be! I could use prayers for a job though, since I am still working on that. God will provide though, even when I struggle with trusting him at times. I almost wasn't sure moving to Chicago was going to work out. Things were starting to become last minute! I only found out today that we have an apartment now. So i have one week to pack! (and Fr Ben thought he had it bad.) I will be living on the edge of the city in the Northwest area known as Edison Park. This is such a big thing for me, it is kind of bewildering. I am moving halfway across the country! Who would have thought. God does crazy things in our lives when we let him... I know getting a job is important, but it is just as important to me when I get down there to find a spiritual director! I desperately am in need of some guidance right now in discerning my vocation. I try not to be anxious by placing myself in the hands of Our Lady. I can't wait to try to get involved in the music at St. John Cantius! I will be so excited to sing polyphony and chant again. I don't know if I will be able to take voice lessons or organ lessons again soon. I doubt it. I want to eventually, but I will have to wait on that.<br />Well, lots to get ready in a week...Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-4501052267209559182008-07-09T09:58:00.002-04:002008-07-09T10:03:03.685-04:00Moving to Chicago!Well, despite details still being worked out, I should be moving to Chicago soon! It is exciting, and I truly trust the Lord will provide the way for me to get there. I have been more sure of this being God's will than most things in my life, so I just keep trying to leave it all in His hands and not doubt. My housing situation is a little unsettled at the moment, but I will be talking to a woman tonight about it, and it's a very good possibility. Through our Lady , God will provide for what I need. I could still use some prayers for patience in the area of vocation discernment. That is part of the reason for going to Chicago - vocation discernment - so it is hard not to get anxious when I sense I will soon know for sure what my vocation is. I hope in Chicago to be involved in music at St. John Cantius as well. We'll see though, God may have a different plan for my gift of music.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-74393501125744427192008-06-25T10:54:00.002-04:002008-06-25T10:55:40.959-04:00Say a prayer for meI could really use prayers for discernment of God's will right now, and that whatever he wills, he will make possible. Please especially offer the prayers through the hands of Our Lady. Thanks.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-74928379375877709382008-06-22T21:46:00.002-04:002008-06-22T21:49:49.613-04:00God's Providence?I'm stuck in Chicago till Tuesday. Which I actually found kind of humorous and not at all stressful because I really don't have anything that pressing to go home to. I can't help but feel that this is God's providence, so that maybe I can talk to the Sullivan's tomorrow night in person about the apartment situation and I will look online tomorrow for jobs in Chicago. I literally am taking it one day at a time at this point, so that is good. Whoever knows me that reads this, say a prayer for me concerning vocation discernment and this idea of moving to Chicago. I could use it!Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-56286295867815988312008-06-21T00:51:00.002-04:002008-06-21T01:01:29.379-04:00Sacred Music Colloquium 2008W ell, I am currently still in the suburbs of Chicago near Loyola University, with just 1 1/2 days left of the colloquium! It will be hard to leave on Sunday. It is musical heaven for a Catholic Church musician and the facilities were so much better this year. I wish I never miss a colloquium for many years. However, I have no idea what is in store for me even as I head back home. While I have been here, I have had some very unexpected things happen concerning vocation discernment, that have thrown me for a loop. God seems to enjoy doing that to me. I'm starting to not mind it too much. I'm learning to trust more and not stress about not knowing the answers to things at the moment, and trying to live day by day. And during everything that has happened this week, it doesn't really cause any stress or terrible confusion. If God wills something in the future, it will happen.<br />Also, over this past week, I seem to have a growing sense that I won't stay in Vermont. For both vocational and practical reasons as a musician. I am not 100% positive though. It depends if God miraculously helps me to get a good job within the next two weeks or not. I just don't want to sit around in VT waiting. As much as a I love my family here, and would like to help the Catholic church in Vermont through my gift of music, it just may not be possible.<br />Well, it is late, and I have much singing to do tomorrow. They really pack our days full. I will enjoy the last full day of the colloquium, I'm sure, even though someone I've come to care about won't be there.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-22163082854039902932008-05-25T14:54:00.002-04:002008-05-25T15:01:29.559-04:00At HomeI have been able to settle back in at home recently only to feel like my life is in another state of upheaval. The parish priest here at home, who is absolutely wonderful and a lover of tradition, is being moved again. This has left me deeply saddened and even more confused about where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do. I truly could use many prayers right now. I don't know what our new priest will be like, but there are hardly any in VT that are all that fond of tradition. I don't have a job yet, and I don't have a clue what this new priest will be like, so I have no idea if I am supposed to stick around to do music. I already at times miss the latin mass very much, I don't know how much that is supposed to be a part of my life. I feel like a fish out of water at times at mass here, and I am afraid that if I stay, I'll lose much of what I learned. and yet something tugs at me about trying to stay here. I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do and that is causing me as much distress as losing our beloved priest. Please pray for me. I really could use spiritual direction right now, but there is no priest to get it from at the moment. I know when it is all said and done, I'll look back and feel like I've learned much at this point in time in my life, but I still don't do well with having no clue what to do with my life, since for many years I tried to plan it out for myself. I'm hurting and I'm stressed, and much of it most likely is to teach me to trust more in God, but it doesn't mean I have to like it or that it shouldn't hurt.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345768339984984670.post-67439278227375164212008-05-10T08:14:00.002-04:002008-05-10T08:22:08.496-04:00GRADUATION DAY!It's the big day today, I'll be heading out to graduate in less than two hours! I am excited to graduate and feel like I'm ready. It's definitely time for something new. Even though I'm not sure where that new path is, I'm doing my best to trust that the Lord will make that clear when it is time. I pray that he will close the doors that do not lead to His will and open the ones that do.<br />I will certainly miss people and activities down here, but maybe I'll be back to the Philly area someday. It has become like home here. The other thing is, it is amazing how you accumulate in your room for just one year! My family and I are going to have a heck of a time getting it all home! However, there's really not much I can get rid of. the bulk of my stuff is clothes, music that I've gathered (esp. in this last year) and books.<br />I'll be tired after this morning, I haven't gotten nearly enough sleep all week, so I'm hoping I'll get a chance to take a short nap once we get to the hotel later this afternoon. Then I'll be a nervous wreck tomorrow, since I am conducting a whole polyphonic mass for the first time! yikes! I'm excited about it though. That is something I will deeply miss down here: my parish, Mater Ecclesiae... but it is time to move on.<br />I thank God for all the wonderful blessings he has put in my life, he gives me so much more than I deserve.Kimberlyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04505725195322410423noreply@blogger.com1