The Feast of the Assumption

Today, I will be blessed to attend a solemn vespers, profession of vows, and solemn high mass at the parish of St. John Cantius. The feast has layered meaning for them, as their brothers make professions of varying degrees, and it is also the 10th anniversary of the founding of the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius. It is also Fr. Phillips' 20th anniversary of being at this parish! I do not get to sing in the solemn high mass for this, but I will still very much enjoy internally participating in the music from the pews. I wanted to share the rundown of the music that will be done tonight. I hope to talk to the director after mass, who said he would be interested in auditioning me for the St. Cecilia choir, which is the one that will be singing tonight. There are even recordings of them for sale on the cantius website.
Music:
7:30 pm Latin Mass (Extraordinary Form)
Missa Vidi Speciosam - Tomás Luis de Victoria (1548 – 1611)
Veniens de Libono - Francesco Bianciardi (1572 – 1607)
Assumpta est Maria - Peter Phillips (c. 1560 – 1628)
Te DeumGregorian Chant - St. Cecilia Choir

Benedictus, Op. 59, No. 9 - Max Reger (1873 – 1916)
Prelude on the Introit for the Solemnity of the Assumption - Simone Plé-Caussade (1897 – 1985)
Final: Allegro assai vivace (Organ Sonata in F Minor, Op. 65, No. 1) - Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy (1809 – 1847) Organ Prelude, Processional & Postlude

SPEECHLESS

This is probably one of the most amazing things I have ever come across. I have never seen or heard such a thing in all my life:

http://web.mac.com/gregorypeebles/Site/Welcome.html

There really is nothing that could accurately describe my reaction.

My future as a church musician?

I'm at one of those crossroads in life. maybe there is a better term for such a thing. It is more like one of those times when you aren't sure which direction is up or down or where the light is to guide you, yet you know it is still there. Christ is always there guiding, maybe I am just really starting to learn to take one day at a time, so it seems like I'm in a sort of darkness.
I feel like my musical development is at a standstill. I really haven't done much of anything with music since I graduate from college in May, and especially since the music colloquium in June. I don't even realize sometimes how much I miss singing and how much joy it can give me until I start singing with a group again. The focus right now just seems to be on other things. I am so preoccupied with finding a job, since a job as a church music right now is an impossibility and maybe will never become a reality, at least not as a full time job. I don't even think I would want it as a full time job. I don't know really what my role in church music is supposed to be at this moment. I'm too busy thinking about where I am going to work so I can pay bills and start paying off college loans, and now vocation discernment has been brought to the forefront again and will be at least for the next year. I really am ready to know my vocation now, I need a definite direction to work towards. but again, back to music. I'm getting involved in an already established parish music program in Chicago, by far the best in the city, but I don't know if there's anything else I should do. Maybe it is just too soon to tell yet, since I just moved here two weeks ago. It will be wonderful to sing polyphony again, but one of my desires in church music is for once to actually get to sing chant for mass on a fairly regular basis. Why is it everywhere I end up, women don't do any of the chanting? What is the point of the CMAA teaching women to chant if men only do it in some of the best church music programs? I can find it aggravating. I don't want to take chanting away from men at all, but why can't we have something like what we heard at the colloquium in such a well established music program. Surely there are women in the parish who really would love to chant. And why not? Also, as a church musician who may direct music someday, how am I ever supposed to direct a group to sing chant, be it men or women, if I have never gotten much of a chance to sing it with a group myself? I have the desire of possibly being the one to start such a women's schola, but question my ability to do so.
I just wonder i guess: am I skilled enough, really, to lead a music program in any way? And yet i know the only way to get that skill is to dive into it. You have to get your feet wet and learn from your mistakes as you go. But I guess it just seems like now is not the time. I thought maybe it was before June, but now the focus has shifted. Vocation discernment is more important, because that concerns what God is calling me to BE.

The Joy of Mater Ecclesiae

Although I am now at a parish with beautiful and amazing liturgy, I have found that there are still things I have experienced in the Latin Mass that I miss very much and have not experienced elsewhere. That is why I still miss Mater Ecclesiae at times. I miss the bold congregational singing of the chant mass settings, especially the creed. Even when we would sing a polyphonic mass setting, the creed was always for the people to chant. And they would raise the roof! Especially at "et unam, sanctam, catholicam, et apostolicam ecclesiam". that always was a powerful and beautiful moment. I miss Karl's bold organ music after the gospel. I miss the clear chanting of the texts by Fr. Pasley. Never have I heard better priest chanting anywhere. Not because there are not priests out there with better quality of voice (but even those are few), but because Father combines beauty with clarity and appropriate speed. You can truly understand his Latin and he often sounds like he could be as fluent speaking in Latin as he is in English because the sentence flow is so often spot on! Kudos to Fr. Pasley. I also think it is important if at all possible for the congregation to have books of music. Even if they can't read notation (supposedly), you would be surprised how many start to understand chant notation because it is simple enough to start picking up on it. It helps them to really learn the mass settings. Those music books should also have hymns I think. Although hymns are not to be the primary music, there is nothing more joyful to me than hearing a congregation raise the roof with a devotional hymn at the end of Mass. I would feel a deep sense of loss if we did not have such hymns as "The Strife is O'er", "This Joyful Eastertide", "On Jordan's bank", "Let all Mortal Flesh Keep Silence", and so many more. They give a cultural voice to our faith when appropriate. I have never been a member of a more joyful, faith-filled congregation than that of Mater Ecclesiae Catholic Church. There is such an earnestness about the faith there, and a love of participation in the mass, both internally and externally. I miss hearing a congregation really sing, and I mean REALLY SING. It has provided some of the most beautiful and moving moments in my worship of God in the Mass.
God Bless Mater Ecclesiae and their parish priest. May he grant them continued spiritual growth and many years more to worship God together. May their love for the faith reach much farther in the lives of others than they may ever know.

In Chicago!

My access to internet is somewhat limited and things were crazy this weekend, but I can say I am now living in Chicago! I arrived last Friday and I am now settled in. I have still been applying for jobs and had an interview yesterday that went well, but I am still looking for other possibilities. It can be kind of a downer to not be working because there is not much to do and you don't feel very useful. My roommate will be leaving for Medjugorie tomorrow as well, so I will be alone in our apartment for 10 days, and I just moved here! I have a choir audition today at St. John Cantius and getting involved there soon will help. Say a prayer that I find a job, and also, for my vocation. That is a priority this year. I really sense that I am supposed to know with certainty by the end of the year. In a sense I BEG God to know. but, i will also accept whatever his will is. Holy Mary, guide me in all things...

The BIG MOVE

Well, it is confirmed. I'm actually doing it! I am moving to Chicago a week from today! I will leave July 24th. I have an apartment with another Catholic woman ready for us, and my mom and my sister are actually going to drive down with me to help bring all my stuff! what a weekend that will be! I could use prayers for a job though, since I am still working on that. God will provide though, even when I struggle with trusting him at times. I almost wasn't sure moving to Chicago was going to work out. Things were starting to become last minute! I only found out today that we have an apartment now. So i have one week to pack! (and Fr Ben thought he had it bad.) I will be living on the edge of the city in the Northwest area known as Edison Park. This is such a big thing for me, it is kind of bewildering. I am moving halfway across the country! Who would have thought. God does crazy things in our lives when we let him... I know getting a job is important, but it is just as important to me when I get down there to find a spiritual director! I desperately am in need of some guidance right now in discerning my vocation. I try not to be anxious by placing myself in the hands of Our Lady. I can't wait to try to get involved in the music at St. John Cantius! I will be so excited to sing polyphony and chant again. I don't know if I will be able to take voice lessons or organ lessons again soon. I doubt it. I want to eventually, but I will have to wait on that.
Well, lots to get ready in a week...

Moving to Chicago!

Well, despite details still being worked out, I should be moving to Chicago soon! It is exciting, and I truly trust the Lord will provide the way for me to get there. I have been more sure of this being God's will than most things in my life, so I just keep trying to leave it all in His hands and not doubt. My housing situation is a little unsettled at the moment, but I will be talking to a woman tonight about it, and it's a very good possibility. Through our Lady , God will provide for what I need. I could still use some prayers for patience in the area of vocation discernment. That is part of the reason for going to Chicago - vocation discernment - so it is hard not to get anxious when I sense I will soon know for sure what my vocation is. I hope in Chicago to be involved in music at St. John Cantius as well. We'll see though, God may have a different plan for my gift of music.