Friday, February 22, 2008

Growing as a musician and growing in holiness

I just thought I'd share some thoughts about my own experience with this. While in college I have found it interesting to see the parallels between struggling to grow as a musician, especially as a vocalist, and struggling to grow in holiness. Being a musician has helped me to better understand the struggles of the spiritual life. As a musician, it can be frustrating at times to see how slowly you progress. You realize you have deeply engrained habits in the way you sing (or play), that are very difficult to change to become better. To improve, you must be diligent in working on those problems/habits specifically even if you would rather practice what you are good at. You also will only improve as much as the effort you make to practice. Your singing is also very much affected by how well you physically, emotionally, and psychologically take care of yourself. For example, if you deprive yourself of sleep, it is very hard to sing without going flat, or to truly focus during practice time.
How similar the spiritual life is to musicianship! We tend to have deeply engrained sinful habits that can be frustrating because it is so hard to root them out. We can also become frustrated with ourselves when we know we do not take the time or effort to practice those virtues that will counter and help to change such habits. We also tend to prefer to continue those spiritual practices that we know we are good at and not challenge ourselves to take a step deeper in transformation and the path to holiness. We get in a comfort zone and for a while often like being in auto pilot. Our prayer life is also affected by every other aspect of our well being. If I am lacking in sleep, going to adoration is not as fruitful because I cannot focus and be as attentive to the Lord.
No matter what aspect of my life, it seems I cannot escape such fundamental spiritual realities. It manifests itself in all tasks and vocations in life. And on that note, I am going to head off to go practice organ, since I desperately need to if i really am going to get any better in that!

SNOW DAY!

Today we have a snow day! As the teachers here say, cancellation of classes is the only time students cheer to not get something they paid for. Coming from Vermont, it's awesome to get a snow day when there is only about 5 inchest of snow, if that. However they have a point in cancelling, since we are supposed to get sleet and ice a little later on. I think it will be a good day to take a nap. As a senior, it seems I never can get enough sleep! Course, when I have a friend from home that calls often, that makes it a little harder to get to bed on time :-) But that's okay. I'll sacrifice sleep for that.
Also, I'll be lacking sleep this weekend some more, since for the first time in a long time a group of friends and I are driving down to DC to go swing dancing at the Spanish Ballroom Saturday night. I'm excited, but it also means getting to bed at about 4am Sunday morning and having to wake up at 9am to get to church in Berlin, NJ. I guess a nap will be in order on Sunday afternoon when I get back. Hope everyone else has a good weekend!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Vision Statement

I currently am taking a the last class that is specific to my church music concentration and for one of our assignments we had to write a vision statement for our own parish or one that we would be involved in "planning worship" for. Now, there tends to be a fair amount of stuff covered in some of these classes that isn't all the practical or usuable for me since the Catholic understanding of a musicians role in worship is very different from that of most Protestants. Catholic musicians do not "plan" worship. It has its own set structure. We are there to serve the liturgy, even if our service is "ars integra" of the liturgy. However, with some tweaking, I think a vision statement is a wonderful idea for a Catholic parish that is trying to undertake reform/renewal of liturgy and music. It should be something that succintly gets across to the parishoners the direction the church is trying to head in and in broad terms, WHY that is the direction the church is taking. So considering my own future position as a music director, this is what I came up with so far, although I think I would want to give it some more thought and change it a little. Any of your own Catholic thoughts are welcome:

Vision Statement:
1) Rediscover and learn our Catholic heritage and traditions that have been forgotten and that enrich our faith.
2) Renew our parishes by combining the best of the old and new in our liturgy and parish life, embracing our traditions in a new way in light of the modern world.
3) Extend the gift of our faith to others, having strengthened our faith by the renewal of a Catholic culture and liturgical life, which fills us with a desire to be leaven for the world.

I think something like this gives some clarity to changes being made and helps to word the renewal in a positive way. I would think expressing the missionary aspect of the church as a result of that inner renewal would be important, considering the emphasis on such in "Sacramentum Caritatis".

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The liturgical Tilt-a-whirl

Another tribute to Fr. Ben:
Does this church make anybody else feel as disoriented as being on an amusement ride?
*Side Note: Sadly, these really are Catholic Churches. Destroyed and hoisted upon Catholics by the one and only "Fr." Richard Vosko, alive and well and still on the rampage. :-(

New UFO Landing site

As a tribute to Fr. Ben:
Maybe if the aliens choose to come, they'll help to usher in Vatican III.

Piero Marini's book

There's been alot on the NLM blog recently about Piero Marini's new book dealing with Vatican II. One of the most recent reviews I found interesting was by Fr. George Rutler, who is a well known and respected orthodox priest near NYC I believe. Here is part of his review:

Marini is not a slave to the principle of noncontradiction. The Consilium was "to reflect the hopes and needs of local churches throughout the world," but two sentences later Holy Mother Church becomes something of a nanny: "In order to renew the liturgy, it was not enough to issue new directives; it was also necessary to change the attitudes of both the clergy and the lay faithful to enable them to grasp the purpose of the reform." In case the people thought something was being done to them instead of for them, various means of social communication would be required "in preparing the faithful to welcome the reform.

"The result was implemented on March 7, 1965, with the instruction Inter Oecumenici. Busy hands then set to work in their laboratory to introduce the "broad innovations" that the author says were desired by the council. Some of these matched propositions of the 1786 Synod of Pistoia that Pius VI condemned for its Jansenism. These included vernacularism, elimination of side altars, didactic ceremonial, and astringency of symbols. The versus populum ­posture of the celebrant was taken for granted in the romantic archeologism that Pius XII warned against in Mediator Dei. Translation of the ­lectionary gradually expanded to a practical neglect of Latin. Regrettably, the author seems to take an unedifying satisfaction in how the Congregation for Rites was "marginalized" and "now had to submit to the authority of the Consilium and accept its reform unconditionally."[...]
The editors of Marini's A Challenging Reform explain that their aim is to "keep alive" the "vision" of the Consilium, but their diction is a voice in a bunker, embittered by the failure of people to be grateful. If an organism is truly healthy, it does not need a life-support system. [...]For all its proponents' goodness of intention, this kind of thing confuses universality with internationalism, treats the awesome as picturesque, suburbanizes the City of God , and patronizes nations and races. [...]
Perhaps greater contact with pastoral reality would have anticipated the chaos that comes when ardent but misbegotten theories are imposed on the people of God who do not regularly read Notitiae. The blithe obliviousness of many experts to damage all around them is, nonetheless, breathtaking. At times in various lands it is like watching a venerable procession of Alcuin, Ivo of Chartres, Gueranger, Fortescue, and Jungmann and finding, at the end Inspector Clouseau.Those entrusted with so great a project as the Second Vatican Council would have done better had they not felt obliged to act with such haste. One problem in the frantic rush for deadlines was the inconvenience of the Italian postal system. There will never be another ecumenical council without email."

The part that really struck me and that I would like to know more about is the connection he mentions between reforms that were suggested after Vatican II and those that were suggested in the 1700s, many of which were the same, and back then were condemned for their Jansenism! if such is true, how and WHY did we end up approving such reforms in the 20th century?! It is not like principles of Jansenism are now ok. This really disturbed me and sometimes I feel like the more I learn about the liturgical reforms there were the implementation of Vatican Council II, the less I want to learn about it because I do not want to become overly depressed and pessimistic about the state of liturgy in the church or reject the new mass, despite my knowledge of how many "problems" it has.
It is hard for me as a young faithful Catholic at times to be part of the movement of restoration because just thinking about it can be tiring, but I know it must have been so much worse for all those orthodox faithful Catholics who lived through the 70s and 80s.

"Deal graciously, O Lord, with Sion in thy goodness, that the walls of Jerusalem may be rebuilt. Then wilt thou again accept true sacrifice, oblations, and burnt-offerings; then shall they offer bullocks upon thy altar." - Ps. 50

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My senior music recital

It is finally over! I don't have to think about it the rest of the semester. It was a hectic weekend with my family here, and things were really rushed in the morning before my recital. I was stressed out, got there late, all the other people singing in my recital were already there, waiting to practice, but in the end, all went well. I had 20 songs in my program, including 4 Gregorian chants from the Lenten season, two polyphony pieces by Palestrina, one by Guerrero, and the Burial Sentences by William Croft. The recital was pretty much exactly an hour and a half long. I made a few mistakes in my recital, but nothing anybody else noticed, so all is well. You can't expect perfection. I had the recital recorded, but i just realized today upon listening to the master CD that somehow the person recording for me only got HALF of the last song! So I'm a little upset today, because I was planning on having copies made, but I need to find out how that happened, and find a way to have the whole recording of the song. it really is a disappointment because it was Bach/Gounod's Ave Maria, which was one of my favorite songs in the program and i had worked hard to do that well. I pray that something will work out.
On a more positive note, it is interesting and satisfying as a singer to have previous recordings of myself, from high school and 1st year college, and to hear the huge difference in how I sing. It is a good feeling to know how much I have improved.

I had wanted to do a post this past week on Ash Wednesday at my parish, but it's a little late to say much about it now. All i will say, is that the men did an absolutely WONDERFUL job singing the chants, it truly is impossible to describe the effect they have on you. I had forgotten that the Ash Wednesday chants are some of the most beautiful in the church's repertoire. And they were made all the better by some of the men just singing a moving drone ( I don't know what else to call it) while the others chanted the melody: it adds SO MUCH depth to the chant, and even more moving! I don't think i had ever heard Nick do that with the men. Organum yes, drone, no. Although i guess it would be considered a type of organum.
Being able to sit and take in the beauty of the chant just fills me with such an excitement and desire to bring that beauty of chant to the rest of the church! I had taken Shawn and three other Catholics with us to my church that evening, who had never been to the latin mass or heard chant, and they found it to be absolutely beautiful and moving. I think that would be the reaction of most people if they heard chant done well, and in the context of a beautiful, sung liturgy. I just can't imagine people hearing the chant as we did and say to the music director afterwards: " I hated all that music, it was awful, don't ever do it again!" That is, unless they hate beauty and truth. I do understand though, that they needed to be provided with english translations as well.

Monday, February 4, 2008

My Birthday

It's my birthday today, if anyone cares to know. I am now 22 years old, and making my parents feel really old :-)
This year is pretty uneventful just like last year. (Yes, you heard right, my 21st birthday was uneventful; I am not a fan of alcohol.)
Just hung out a little yesterday with some friends, and wanted to get a Coldstone ice cream cake (soooo good!) but unfortunately they didn't have any made, so that was a pretty big bummer.

On another note, I am bringing three young Catholics from my school to a latin mass at my church for the first time, they have never been to one. I pray their experience will be positive, even if it may be a bit confusing, especially since they are coming on Ash Wednesday and not a regular Sunday mass. But I think it is important to expose as many young people to the EF of the mass. they need to know what came before them, and the Latin mass is probably the best way for them to SEE the traditions of their faith. Then they have a standard, in a sense, by which to compare the NO mass. Without that, have much will they really understand of the renewal and reform taking place in the Church? I am guessing not as much.

Also, my senior music recital is in... 5 days!!! time seems to be going by so quickly! My Dad will be coming down here to visit for the first time, which is exciting. Pray that i sing really well, Since I am recording it! It is a 1 1/2 hr-long recital, so i hope i don't get too fatigued.

Work to do now, paper due Wednesday related to C.S. Lewis' "The abolition of man" which is starting to make my brain feel like mush, but sort of in a good way. However, I am glad i am not a theology major!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Feast of the Presentation of the Lord: Candlemas: The Purification of the BVM

This special and beautiful feast just occurred in the church calendar yesterday, and unfortunately in much of the Church in America went unnoticed! If some of you don't know, this feast is actually one of the most ancient revelatory feasts about our Lord, and also about our Lady, originating in Jerusalem? So why is it we don't celebrate it anymore? Why is it that priests do not encourage my their example and teaching? This feast gives us one of the best ties with the Eastern catholic Church, since it was spread from there to the West. However, much of that East-West connection has been lost, and i would like to show how. First i will answer the question of why: because of the simplifying "revisions" of "implementing" Vatican II.
Now i'm not saying the teachings of Vatican II are bad, and I won't get into all my views about the liturgical calendar as a whole, but i must say when i compared the liturgies of Feb. 2nd, old and new, i was disappointed in the new mass when it comes to celebrating this feast.

The biggest differences is at the very beginning of the feast celebration. Historically, meaning from the middle ages all the way up till 1962, there have been 5 orations (prayers) to bless the candles that use much symbolism of fire and light and how they express our faith and Christ. These prayers are ancient and of Eastern origin. Then the candles are incensed and sprinkled with holy water, and then distributed to the priests and laity. During the distribution the choir sings the canticle of Simeon (Nunc dimittis) and the antiphon"Lumen ad revelationem gentium et gloriam plebis tuæ Israel" is sung after every verse until all the candles are passed out and lit. Then as the procession starts (going outside), the choir sings the antiphon "Adorna thalamum tuum, Sion", composed by St. John of Damascus, one of the few pieces which, text and music, have been borrowed by the Roman Church from the Greeks. The other antiphons are of Roman origin. The solemn procession represents the entry of Christ, who is the Light of the World, into the Temple of Jerusalem. there is a certain chant that is begun upon the congregations reentry into the church, and then the mass began right away and followed the structure of any normal mass with all the proper chants, Kyrie, gloria, etc.
Now compare this with the "new" liturgy: The 5 ancient orations have been done away with and replaced with one simple prayer. Not only that, but the candles are not all first blessed and then given to the people, they are handed out to the people and THEN blessed, which is really an odd way of blessing something! This also then means that the canticle of Simeon is NOT sung while candles are being passed out, the chant with its antiphon is not part of the ritual at all! There is actually a whole new created chant that is suggested to be sung, even though it is way to short to accompany the passing out of the candles. Also, how is the priest supposed to sprinkle all the candles with holy water when everyone is holding them first. Thankfully, the "Adorna..." chant is retained to be sung during the procession, but the one upon reentering the church has been changed to just chanting the introit, even though techincally, the procession is not yet done. Then, probably one of the strangest things, is that the missal says the Kyrie should be ommitted! (but the gloria is still sung). I have NEVER BEFORE seen instructions in a mass for the Kyrie to be omitted. the gloria, yes, during penitential seasons, but the Kyrie??

One last smaller difference: In the older rites, the people were to again hold their candles lit through the proclamation of the Gospel (and also throughout the whole Canon i believe), which is removed in the new rite.

So many rich meaningful prayers, rituals, and symbols have been lost!! Celebrating candlemas in the new rite of the mass can still be beautiful, but if done according to the books, it lacks A LOT of depth compared to the rich historical rituals and prayers that it used to have. Although, i have to wonder if you could change some things so that the structure looks more like the traditional structure in the beginning. I know you probably couldn't just ADD the 5 orations in, but maybe you could possibly bless all the candles together, and just sing the nunc dimittis anyway as candles are being distributed. And maybe you could just sing the old reentry chant anyway, THEn the introit, and hold lit candles during the gospel. maybe I am wrong in hoping that such changes could just be done, but i don't see how it would harm anything, if anything it would help to give the whole blessing and processional more coherence and structure.
Oh, one last thing: supposedly the priest can also choose right before distributing the candles, to give a short instruction about the meaning of the procession and the prayers, etc.

I pray that the Feast of the Presentation will someday become more celebrated in the church and will advocate for it to be done wherever I go, especially to have it done in the extraordinary form which makes evident the rich history of the feast and the East-West connection of the church much more clearly. It is a beautiful feast to be done in the evening on Feb. 2nd so that the candlelit procession is in the dark : - )