Moving to Texas

I am finally headed off for Texas tomorrow. The whole process of moving is rather stressful, to tell you the truth. The trip had been delayed a day. I was supposed to leave yesterday. But rather than give a lot of details why, just pray for better physical health of my traveling companion, who is the main reason for my moving to Texas. If you happen to read this, also pray for our safe travel. It will be a two day trip, so we will be on the road both tomorrow and Friday.
I don't know what to expect really, once I move there. I just need to strive to have hope that things will be good, that God wants me to have happiness and He is good and merciful.
You may wish to add a prayer for my own mental health, which has not been the best since my move to Chicago. I plan to be working on taking care of that once I move to Texas. That, and figuring out what in the world I am supposed to be doing with my life right now, regarding work.

The Near Demise of my Own Blog

I will say that my own blog has come closer to death than the Owl's blog. I am considering putting an end to it myself. It is at the very bottom of my priority list. However, since i am on here now, I may as well say that I will officially be leaving the liberal atmosphere of Chicago and moving to the sunny land of Texas on June 17th. It is a move that is much anticipated on my part! I am sure I will look back over time, on this year spent in Chicago and come to realize many things that the good Lord was trying to teach me, however at this point in time, i am not sure how well He succeeded. I just sang tonight for a Pontifical High mass at St John Cantius to kick off a triduum of masses in honor of the year of St Paul. Auxilary Bishop Perry of Chicago was the celebrant. I sang as a quartet with another girl and two of the brothers. We sang two nice motets and chant mass VIII with organ accompaniment. I must say, it felt rather strange to be having such a high mass in the middle of the week with no special feast day! This mass was also recorded, because I believe they plan to put it on their priest training site at some point in the near future, which is Sancta Missa. So I shall have a musical moment of fame more than once! Not only will my voice likely be on their website in some fashion, but also on EWTN on July 1st! Clips of all the Cantius choirs were recorded in the past couple months, and will be shown as part of a feature program on St. John Cantius on July 1st. It is sure to be a highlight of the program, since one of the EWTN priests who came during lent (?) to be trained in the EF was so impressed with the parish's choral program. So be sure to check out EWTN on July 1st!
And also before I leave, I shall be conducting the women's chant schola one last time. we shall be singing the Corpus Christi chants on June 14th for the 12:30pm mass. I shall miss it.
But many musical possibilities await me in Texas! I look forward to being able to do more directing, possibly with choral music. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the Sacred Music Colloquium this year. Funny how I moved to the city where it is now held, but will not be going. At least I shall be moving away before the conference, that way I shall not miss it so much.
My move to Texas has more to do with my vocation than with music :) So a prayer for Richard and I if you happen to read this. God willing, we will marry in two years. But first things first: I shall move, and then we shall see how things progress. There are many activities I hope to be involved in in Fort Worth TX! Say a prayer for safe travel too, if you will. Richard will be driving down to TX with me on June 17th and 18th.

My Anticipation for Easter! ... among other things

Well, I recently took a trip to Texas to visit the man who is courting me, and that was a wonderful time. It has helped to put me in a better frame of mind for Lent and just start afresh with certain things in my life. It was a respite that was desperately needed!
Also, from the looks of things, that is where I may end up living starting this summer... we shall see. It is a strong possibility, and one that I am peace with and would look forward to :)

But the really exciting thing is I just have worked out going back to Philadelphia for Holy Week! And Richard shall fly from Texas to join me there! I have been wanting to go back to where I went to school, and back to Mater Ecclesiae, to visit since I left, and going back for Holy week to sing has been in the back of my mind for months. I can't believe I will actually get to do it! and I get to have Richard there with me. God is truly good. It will be wonderful to still get to sing for all the Holy week liturgies, which i would not get to do if i stayed in Chicago. That would be hard to take, since I have sang for all Holy week liturgies for as long as I can remember. I started singing in church when i was six, and so i probably starting singing with the larger choir for holy week by the time I was in 5th or 6th grade. the whole trip is possible due to the fact that Mater Ecclesiae does Polyphony all that week and so pays its singers for every mass. It is the most wonderful place to be during Holy week that I have ever experienced. The beauty of Holy Week in the Extraordinary form is beyond words.
It will also be a wonderful time to visit friends I haven't seen since I graduated, and have Richard meet them and see my Alma Mater, and maybe even go swing dancing so he can meet those people, even though on principle it will be a little odd to go dancing during Holy Week. I may make an exception this year, for the sake of having him meet the people I know.
I can't wait for this! well, i can actually, because I have to, but it gives me something to look forward to with much joy. Now, back to focusing on Lent, and preparing myself for Easter...

LOONG overdue Update!

I know i haven't posted in a while. but it isn't exactly on the top of my priority list, and I know hardly anyone reads it. But for the heck of it, I thought I would update it. As far as liturgical music things go, the women's chant schola I started at St. John's is going well. Tomorrow, I will begin my first attempt at really teach chant theory to others. I am using the "Square Notes Workbook in Gregorian Chant" as my guide. I am eager to give this a try, although it will be a little bit of a crash course, since we will essentially work throught the whole book in just one month (and just 4 meetings). Then the next time we will sing chants for mass will be the Feast of the Annunciation.
Also, starting this week and going through lent, I have been asked to come to Wednesday night masses and help with singing polyphony, just one voice to a part. That is how I like it best, it really makes you accountable for knowing your own part well. I am very glad I will have an outlet to start singing polyphony again! I will really be glad someday to start conducting it more myself, teaching others.

Un-musical news:

For anyone reading this, although I have discerned my vocation now, other things are very much in the air, and I am allowing them to distress me by wanting answers now to things that God does not plan to give me answers to yet. So i need to be more at peace with just where I am at the present moment. The biggest thing is whether I will stay in Chicago after one full year here come July. At the moment, the option is very much open to me to move back to Philadelphia, the area where I went to school. And the possibility is very appealing to me. But I need to just give it time and really listen for what God wants me to do. It is hard, because overall, my time in Chicago so far has been emotionally and spiritually difficult for me. It means I have grown ALOT, I see that I have grown in virtue and maturity and in so many other ways... but I do not if I should remain in such situations for more than a year. The desire to be nearer to my family again, and live with Catholic women i can really pray with, and be in a place that feels more like a home, is very strong. And I need a job that is better suited to my character and talents. I know God placed me where I am present to teach me virtue, but I cannot see myself doing it for more than a year.
But that is just it, who knows! God's plans may be very different from my own, he may WANT me to stay here, and to keep dealing with what I deal with. I don't know. So I just keep praying for patience and to know his answers to my questions and prayers when the time is right. Keep striving to place it all in Our Mother's hands. There is not much else I can do yet. All these decisions will also be partially tied up in the decisions of the young man I think I am called to marry. So that adds a whole other layer of complexity to the situation.

And to end, I ask that the reader say a prayer for me for perseverance, charity, and humility.
I will continue to ask the Lord to make me a saint, no matter how much it hurts at times.

A Vocation to Marriage

That's right. I have discerned that my vocation is marriage. I am at peace with the decision and that God has called me to this vocation, but it will take time getting used to it. This knowledge is confirmed by my spiritual director as well. We had a good laugh at the end of my last meeting with him on Friday, because he told me it didn't surprise me that I came to this conclusion, because he knew from day 1 when I met with him that I was called to marriage! And he didn't tell me! Haha, well, I guess it is one of those things you really do need to discern for yourself, with the guidance of another. The turning point came at the end of the first week of November actually. There is a joy and relief in knowing with conviction what my vocation is, and yet a touch of sadness... Because there are things about religious life that I am attracted to, and God had me look into religious life for 3-4 years, only to find that it is not my calling. Yet i know there are probably many reasons for that: 1) to prepare me spiritually, in virtue, for a right relationship with another person that will be centered in Christ, 2) to deepen my own spiritual life so that I will yearn more for the things of heaven, even when in marriage. to know that marriage is to lead me to sanctity and union with God, 3) i thought at times that i really would become a nun eventually, but struggled with realizing how long it would be before i could enter due to school loans, and no community ever seemed to be the right one, but now the waiting i can view differently: God had me waiting because i was trying to go down the wrong path.

The other wonderful thing is that God has used a young man to make me realize I am called to marriage. I don't know if I will ever marry this man, but my constant prayer is that if it be pleasing to our Lord, to let him be the one. And now I am waiting for a different reason. I do not think my next long waiting, if this man is the one I am to marry, is because i am on the wrong path, but because God still has much work to do in us to prepare us for such a vocation. So I strive to cultivate and patient and joyful waiting, especially during this season of advent. Waiting not only for the coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ a second time, but having advent help me to cultivate a joyful hope in the things God has planned for the rest of my life.

Whoever reads this, please say a prayer for me and this young man, for Our Lady to guard us and strengthen our virtue, so that from the very start our relationship, no matter where it leads, will be one that is holy, pure, and guides us closer to the hearts of Jesus and Mary.

It's been a long time...

But it is because I am quite busy now. I have some new and better pictures of my parish though now, as you can see. this picture was taken from the lower choir loft at the closing mass of forty hour's devotion.
I am in two of the choirs as well, as helping out the youth choir quite often for the time being, I have started taking some voice lessons again, and the women's choir has officially been formed. Our first time singing all the propers for a mass will be on the feast of the Immaculate Conception :) It is exciting. I really enjoy conducting chant, and well, conducting in general.
What i really want to share are some recordings from St. John's, but I am still working on figuring out how to get them on here. I have a recording of the communion chant for All Saint's Day by the women's schola, and i have a BEAUTIFUL recording of the solemn vespers in the extraordinary form that we sang tonight for the Marian feast day. It turned out really well for just using my little mp3 player. It is late, so this is all i will say for now, and i will try to get the recordings on here soon.

Still Alive

Wow, it has been a month since I have posted. I admit, blogging is not anywhere near the top of my list of to do's. I am glad that my life is now busier. I have been a bit busy with vocation discernment, and i work all day monday through friday now, and I also waitress two nights a week. I have choir practice Monday nights, and adoration and lectio divina thursday nights. And soon I hope to be having even more to do.
Musically, I am in the initial stages of forming a women's chant schola at my parish, with the approval of the priest in charge of music there. I wrestled for a while about whether to ask to do it, but he thought it was a good idea, and we are starting it slow by building it in the context of the choral women's choir. However, the experience so far has shown this will not work very well. There is just not the time without adding separate rehearsals. So I am praying that I may get a core group committed to break off and have its own rehearsals starting in November, with the approval of the priest of course. I really enjoy studying the chants and working on the chironomy, and I really do love conducting! There is something so satisfying about it for me.
I have schedule my first voice lesson with a teacher in the city as well, but that will only happen about once a month because of the cost. My teacher however, is a choir member of the professional choir at my parish, so she can hopefully prepare me to audition for that same choir eventually. That would help so much!
Spiritually, I am being challenged so much right now. There often does not seem like much joy in my life right now, but I am being purified. It is all part of God's plan. And you know, I have told him that I will to be a saint. So i guess you get what you ask for... that may be the case with my vocation too... but I will not know the definitive answer to THAT for a while I think. The advice and practical applications of my spiritual direction though are helping me very much in my discernment. Words really cannot describe the amazing but difficult path God is leading me on, with the guidance of our Holy Mother Mary. My consecration to her has profoundly changed my life, how I understand vocations... everything.
Well, i think those are enough thoughts for now. I must rest, and rise for a new day tomorrow. May Our Lady guide all Catholics closer to the foot of the Cross to be purified by the sacrifice of Christ.