That's right. I have discerned that my vocation is marriage. I am at peace with the decision and that God has called me to this vocation, but it will take time getting used to it. This knowledge is confirmed by my spiritual director as well. We had a good laugh at the end of my last meeting with him on Friday, because he told me it didn't surprise me that I came to this conclusion, because he knew from day 1 when I met with him that I was called to marriage! And he didn't tell me! Haha, well, I guess it is one of those things you really do need to discern for yourself, with the guidance of another. The turning point came at the end of the first week of November actually. There is a joy and relief in knowing with conviction what my vocation is, and yet a touch of sadness... Because there are things about religious life that I am attracted to, and God had me look into religious life for 3-4 years, only to find that it is not my calling. Yet i know there are probably many reasons for that: 1) to prepare me spiritually, in virtue, for a right relationship with another person that will be centered in Christ, 2) to deepen my own spiritual life so that I will yearn more for the things of heaven, even when in marriage. to know that marriage is to lead me to sanctity and union with God, 3) i thought at times that i really would become a nun eventually, but struggled with realizing how long it would be before i could enter due to school loans, and no community ever seemed to be the right one, but now the waiting i can view differently: God had me waiting because i was trying to go down the wrong path.
The other wonderful thing is that God has used a young man to make me realize I am called to marriage. I don't know if I will ever marry this man, but my constant prayer is that if it be pleasing to our Lord, to let him be the one. And now I am waiting for a different reason. I do not think my next long waiting, if this man is the one I am to marry, is because i am on the wrong path, but because God still has much work to do in us to prepare us for such a vocation. So I strive to cultivate and patient and joyful waiting, especially during this season of advent. Waiting not only for the coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ a second time, but having advent help me to cultivate a joyful hope in the things God has planned for the rest of my life.
Whoever reads this, please say a prayer for me and this young man, for Our Lady to guard us and strengthen our virtue, so that from the very start our relationship, no matter where it leads, will be one that is holy, pure, and guides us closer to the hearts of Jesus and Mary.