My personal experience: the old mass affecting the new

Something i was thinking about today was the changes that the extraordinary form of the mass has caused in my liturgical and devotional life. It is interesting to note that for the first year of my encounter with the older form of the mass, it caused some confusion because of the great number of differences in the calendar structure and in the mass itself compared to the post-Vat. II calendar and liturgy. Also, because i had a pretty immediate attraction to the latin mass, i found going to the NO of the mass on weekdays to be frustrating at times as i came to understand better and better the richness of the EF of the mass.
However, i would like to say that i think (and hope) a balance is being reached in my life. I am still very much attracted to the EF mass, but it has now become a cause of enrichment of my experience of and participation in the NO of the mass. The EF mass, with its more set structure has given me a more solid foundation for truly praying the mass in union with the priest even when going to the NO of the mass. The EF mass has helped me to internalize the Eucharistic prayer, (or I prefer to always refer to it as THE Roman Canon) so that even despite the lack of quiet externally in a NO daily or weekend mass, i have been more easily able to foster that silence within by in a sense ignoring a lot of the spoken text of the priest in the NO of the mass because i have internalized his prayers and so unite my prayer with his. There are still times when this is hard, especially at daily masses when 1) Eucharistic prayer 2 is pretty much used by default, which makes me feel thrown into the consecration without preparation and hinders me from being able to properly offer the sacrifice and myself and my prayers with the priest to the Lord, and 2) when priests rush through this part of the mass, showing a lack of reverence and awe at this most powerful and mysterious sacramental reality taking place, especially when it can already be so short by use of Euch. prayer 2.
For me, there is one Roman canon. it is now imprinted upon my soul and i can pray no other at mass. I think that this is a special grace of the EF of the mass with its one set canon, which goes back at least to the 6th century. It has aided my internal prayer at the NO of the mass greatly.
Maybe this post will help even one priest to understand the power of the Roman Canon, or Eucharistic prayer 1.

I actually have a few moments to make a post. I am not so stressed as i was at the beginning of the week. The Lord will give me the strength to deal with everything that he has placed before me if i remain faithful to Him and spend time in quiet with him. My greatest concern to start this semester has been that i won't have the time that i know i need alone with the Lord to grow in my relationship with him and deeper in love with him. So i pray that this concern does not become a reality by my own fault. I embark this semester with deeper thoughts about vocation and a call to search deeper within myself. I am coming ever closer to discovering the calling that God has placed within me of what i am called to be. My retreat in a cloister has provided much food for thought even if it wasn't the most enjoyable experience. I have learned several things. One, i know for sure i am not called to cloistered religious life, if i am called to live in community; two, i believe i have come out with a greater dependence on God, but it will need to be fostered continually by prayer and silence if it is to bear the fruits of humility and greater charity and all other virtues; three, that i had at least partially fallen into the modern trap of thinking of a vocation along the lines of what i am called to do rather than what i am called to be; fourth, this greater understanding of vocation has led me into a whole other level so to speak of my vocational discernment that is at once more complex and at times tiring because i just desire to know where I am called, but at the same time i am driven on for my heart will be restless until it rests in God; fifth, time needs to be taken this last semester to grow to a deeper understanding of my talents and what i do as the fruit of my vocation, and so converse with the Lord as to how the passions and talents that are rooted deep within me are to be part of my vocation or affect it; sixth, I have learned that there is also the Order of Virgins as a way of publicly being consecrated to the Lord but living in the world, which i will look into as well as religious communities; seventh, without community of some sort, of really close friends to share with each other our spiritual journeys, I become lost quite easily. Even if consecrated in the world, i would need at least 1 0r 2 people to share like this with.
And really there is probably much more that i have learned from having taken retreat, which will bear fruit in due time. May i remember to place all in the care of Our Lady.

Few posts

I will say now that I at least know that until after May, my posts will probably be few and far between. I'm in my last semester of college, with 18 credits, a senior recital in 4 weeks, 2 classes requiring traveling off campus, and job searching to do for after i graduate. Things will be a bit stressful. for any of you who read this blog, say a prayer for me! I'm going to need it, i already am feeling the stress, and it's only the first day back...

My Senior Music Recital

I just thought I would share the fact that my Senior music recital is less than two months away now! I am very excited for it, it really encapsulates so much of my college experience. It is longer than most as well, but i wanted it that way. All my pieces are vocal, with two each in German, French, and Italian, and multiple in English and Latin. I will be singing twelve songs for voice and piano that I have learned in my voice lessons over the course of the past 4 years, as well as 8 other pieces. Four will be Gregorian chants from the season of Lent, and 3 Renaissance polyphony pieces (2 by Palestrina, one by Guerrero) and one homophonic choral piece by William Croft. So total, i have 20 selections in my recital, which will be about an hour and a half with an intermission. I could not imagine having done a senior recital without singing chant and polyphony, especially considering the place i will be singing in, which is probably the best part of it all. Below are some pictures of the Sanctuary of St. Malachy's Parish in Philadelphia, probably the oldest Irish Catholic church in the city. It is mainly a poor black congregation that attends there now. The Sanctuary is absolutely gorgeous as you can see and the whole church just begs to have chant and polyphony sung in it, the acoustics were built for it. The rest of the Church is not enormous, which makes it ideal for my recital, so it is a little more intimate. I very much look forward to singing for all my family and friends, but primarily for God, in such a magnificent place of Catholic worship that probably has not heard such music in its walls for many years. My recital is planned for February 9th, and will be recorded by a friend from my parish, Mater Ecclesiae.

The Immaculate Conception

It was really great for the first time to sing polyphony that I myself picked for the choral mass, and to have it go well. It was a really satisfying feeling. We sang a wonderful choral mass of the settings of the ordinary by Palestrina and a motet by Hassler for the feast of Our Lady's Immaculate Conception today, as well as hymns for the congregation: Daily daily sing to Mary, O Sanctissima, and Immaculate Mary. I certainly hope the high mass at the cathedral in Burlington went beautifully well last night.
I got to spend some time with my good friend Anja today since she came to sing alto for the mass with us. We got to talk alot about liturgy and the music in different places, and just views on things liturgical, which was nice.
I was thinking today, that i honestly believe that, if you planned a choral mass for a feast day in the church, and did it welll, i think you would have few if any complaints about it. instead, i think it would open many people's hearts and minds to beauty in the liturgy and let them have a glimpse of how beautiful and sacred and reverent their worship can be, especially with the right music. I just can't see how people could complain after hearing Palestrina, it's so beautiful and can seem to lift you right into heaven. Once getting a chance to just experience an immensely beautiful liturgy, I think it could change a lot of hearts and minds about it. Just my thought. Maybe i'm naive and too hopeful.

Thanksgiving in Vermont

I know it's been a while since i've posted, but i know very few people read this blog anyway. I went home to Vermont for Thanksgiving break, which was nice. my allergies kicked in of course, but that's alright. Thanksgiving is quite different for my family now that it used to be. I miss our whole Depatie family getting together at my Aunt Therese's and i especially miss her famous bread rolls! But our family is growing too big, so meals together just doesn't work, no one's house is big enough for a sit down meal with all of us. So we are starting to just have our family and sometimes my mom's sister and her family, or we go to their house. and this year we have a new member of the family! I am now an aunt, and my new niece Pheobe Marie is only 2-3 weeks old. She's so cute!

Besides seeing her, I also got to see the new shrine for the tabernacle that Fr. Ben has had completed, and it is beautiful. I'm very hopeful about the prospect of going back to Vermont. I see a lot of good reforms in my home parishes, and there has definitely been receptivity to changes in music, but they need help in that department for it to be more consistent. My grandmother actually wants to try to teach the choir a latin gloria and other mass parts. both parish now sing the Agnus Dei strongly, so it is time to start doing another part of the mass in latin as well. One piece at a time... My home parishes also seems like the ideal place to start in Vermont since the parishes already have organists, so i wouldn't be desparately needed to play, although i am learning organ, and getting better at it.
I got to introduce myself to the bishop as well, and express my interest in music for the diocese, so we'll see what happens. I think it is safe for me to say now that there ARE opportunities in Vermont for me, now i just need to discern if that is where God wants me to go. So prayers for that please.

All Soul's Requiem Mass

I wish i could record all the masses i sing for at my church. In some way this would help me to preserve memories of the two beautiful years i am spending here, and do not know what will happen after that. For All Souls last night, we had a solemn high mass in the extraordinary form complete with a fake casket (catafaulk?) and we sang Victoria's 6 voice "Officium defunctorum": the introit, kyrie, santus, agnus dei, and communion antiphon. The rest of the antiphons and chants were sung to the regular chant by the 7 men present. We had a 11 people to sing it! Words can't even come close to describing the experience of a requiem high mass in the EF. My mind cannot comprehend how such a beautiful, exquisite expression of mourning for the deceased, praying for them, and the constant hope underlying all of it could just be forgotten by the majority of the Catholic Church. I would not want to be buried to anything else. I would want to know that people are going to the mass to pray for my soul, not "celebrate my life". I'll need all the prayers i can get! And a requiem mass with out the chants just seems so incomplete. I have heard a requiem low and high mass in the EF, and the high mass is just so much more uplifting and... i don't even know how to describe it.
May many priests take the initiative to bring back the solemnity of a requiem mass and the understanding of praying for the deceased and supporting those who are grieving in the most appropriate manner, by mourning with them, but also providing them with hope through Christ. I have read many accounts of priests who have started to return to purple or black vestments for all souls and funeral masses, and have not received any negative comments from anyone. May the chant of the texts also return, for without it, the requiem mass has lost SO much.