I again had a wonderful day at my parish and sang a choral mass for the closing of our forty hours' devotion, which included mass celebrated with the blessed sacrament exposed (only allowed in the extraordinary form i think) and the chanting of the litany of the saints followed by a procession outside the church. oh, how i LOVE my church!!! There was of course, much socializing after, as usual.
That however, is not the topic of my post. I am a frequent visitor of the NLM blog and particularly like to read stuff by Jeffrey Tucker, and have read a few things by him and some other people about how to start a schola in your own parish. The article is here and gave me much to think about. I know i will forever be learning about the music and liturgy of the church, but even more feel like there is still so much for me to learn to be able to serve a parish in bringing about musical reform. I wonder, will I have the patience for such a thing? will i be a good example of Christian charity? will i know how to discuss with those who may disagree about the direction the music heads in? With Jeffrey making reference to the fact that a new schola in essence has to prove themselves, what happens when you do make a mistake in how things are done? What if it then all falls apart? In some ways, i fear of making those types of mistakes, of not having the patience of not know how to correctly deal with parishoners when confronted, of not even knowing where exactly to start! Especially if i do end up in a situation where it's two parishes trying to unite as one with only one mass at one church and two at the other? how do you go about such reform in such a condition?
I know my fear probably mainly comes from a lack of trust in God to prepare me for what he has in store for me, and the best answer would be to pray more. But it so often is hard not to think about the future and where you might end up and how you would handle it, etc.
Such a tough year this is already proving to be in the areas of discernment and trust in God's will, and patience. I hope that is because those are precisely the areas God will help me to grow in.