Sunday, May 25, 2008
I have been able to settle back in at home recently only to feel like my life is in another state of upheaval. The parish priest here at home, who is absolutely wonderful and a lover of tradition, is being moved again. This has left me deeply saddened and even more confused about where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do. I truly could use many prayers right now. I don't know what our new priest will be like, but there are hardly any in VT that are all that fond of tradition. I don't have a job yet, and I don't have a clue what this new priest will be like, so I have no idea if I am supposed to stick around to do music. I already at times miss the latin mass very much, I don't know how much that is supposed to be a part of my life. I feel like a fish out of water at times at mass here, and I am afraid that if I stay, I'll lose much of what I learned. and yet something tugs at me about trying to stay here. I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do and that is causing me as much distress as losing our beloved priest. Please pray for me. I really could use spiritual direction right now, but there is no priest to get it from at the moment. I know when it is all said and done, I'll look back and feel like I've learned much at this point in time in my life, but I still don't do well with having no clue what to do with my life, since for many years I tried to plan it out for myself. I'm hurting and I'm stressed, and much of it most likely is to teach me to trust more in God, but it doesn't mean I have to like it or that it shouldn't hurt.