Sunday, May 25, 2008

At Home

I have been able to settle back in at home recently only to feel like my life is in another state of upheaval. The parish priest here at home, who is absolutely wonderful and a lover of tradition, is being moved again. This has left me deeply saddened and even more confused about where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do. I truly could use many prayers right now. I don't know what our new priest will be like, but there are hardly any in VT that are all that fond of tradition. I don't have a job yet, and I don't have a clue what this new priest will be like, so I have no idea if I am supposed to stick around to do music. I already at times miss the latin mass very much, I don't know how much that is supposed to be a part of my life. I feel like a fish out of water at times at mass here, and I am afraid that if I stay, I'll lose much of what I learned. and yet something tugs at me about trying to stay here. I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do and that is causing me as much distress as losing our beloved priest. Please pray for me. I really could use spiritual direction right now, but there is no priest to get it from at the moment. I know when it is all said and done, I'll look back and feel like I've learned much at this point in time in my life, but I still don't do well with having no clue what to do with my life, since for many years I tried to plan it out for myself. I'm hurting and I'm stressed, and much of it most likely is to teach me to trust more in God, but it doesn't mean I have to like it or that it shouldn't hurt.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

GRADUATION DAY!

It's the big day today, I'll be heading out to graduate in less than two hours! I am excited to graduate and feel like I'm ready. It's definitely time for something new. Even though I'm not sure where that new path is, I'm doing my best to trust that the Lord will make that clear when it is time. I pray that he will close the doors that do not lead to His will and open the ones that do.
I will certainly miss people and activities down here, but maybe I'll be back to the Philly area someday. It has become like home here. The other thing is, it is amazing how you accumulate in your room for just one year! My family and I are going to have a heck of a time getting it all home! However, there's really not much I can get rid of. the bulk of my stuff is clothes, music that I've gathered (esp. in this last year) and books.
I'll be tired after this morning, I haven't gotten nearly enough sleep all week, so I'm hoping I'll get a chance to take a short nap once we get to the hotel later this afternoon. Then I'll be a nervous wreck tomorrow, since I am conducting a whole polyphonic mass for the first time! yikes! I'm excited about it though. That is something I will deeply miss down here: my parish, Mater Ecclesiae... but it is time to move on.
I thank God for all the wonderful blessings he has put in my life, he gives me so much more than I deserve.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Graduation

I could use a few prayers. Things are emotional and confusing this week! I graduate from college, and head home, but not having luck with finding decent work... so I am having doubts about where I am supposed to be... trying to make sure I listen to God's will for me and not plan out my life myself... So many thoughts, ideas, and emotions going on! I could use a prayer from anyone reading, to the Holy Spirit for discernment during this Novena time before Pentecost.